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The wake up call

Scenario 1 –

I am in a conversation with one of my friend. And as you get it, it revolves around a second friend. Later all of us engage in a conversation and are fervently discussing a topic that is close to our hearts. None of us see any foul, at least to me, in our intentions towards each other. But we all have different views and ways about going about things. Open conversations – seem a mature way of going about issues.

Scenario 2 –

I have discussed a career goal.

Now what is the common thread that binds these two instances? Certainly nothing apparent, other than me being the central actor. Well there is one more fact. The fact is that these scenarios played out in my mind at 3 am in the night and I woke up with a racing heartbeat. Nothing points to the fact that any of these situations can be alarming or even need be discussed. Quiet mundane happenings in the scheme of life. Certainly, not worth more than a passing thought, let alone a blog. Well, not exactly.

Nothing can be a just a passing matter if it wakes you up from deep sleep and prevents you to get back to it. Especially if you are sleep starved for the past few days. I believe that there are issues rooted in our mind and when they do not find a way to express, they trouble us in our sleep. Seemingly innocuous issues which trouble you, need to be analysed. Not over analysed and complicated further, but a level of analysis is needed with some tangible action items. This I know certainly from a fact that as one of the scenarios above panned out more than a few years ago and is still fresh in my memory. On pondering I realise that it was not a mere few nights that I was sleepless. At that time the triggers were apparent, the symptoms were visible, the causes were hazy but not out of sight. But this is if i consider only the most apparent symptoms. Years later, on deeper thought, I realise the amount of energy I had spent over the matter was not worth it. Especially considering the opportunity cost, be it spending time with friends and family who mattered to me, having a more self improvement focused attitude, and having more fun in general.

This is all in retrospection. What matters now is how I deal with the other scenario and if the realisation of my priorities and next steps do not take as long as it did in the first scenario. So I had a wake up call this early morning. I need to analyse the situation and come up with some action plan. It is been while that things have built up and I can no longer ignore them.

Trying to put your thoughts into sentences help you to articulate and structure your thoughts. Our mind is too fast and we miss the details of our own thoughts. Writing helps us slow down and go over each detail. Our conscious mind also likes to ignore the uncomfortable facts and or unfounded facts. Penning down can help us link our thoughts in a continuous chain and help weed out any unfounded ideas based on prejudice or public opinion.

1. Try wording your symptoms. Now read it and take 5 mins to reword the symptoms.

2. See if what you have written are symptoms or you can also see you problem in it. Try to list out all the problems associated with the symptom and eliminate the symptoms

3. Now eliminate problems that are exactly the same and appear more than once in your list.

4. See if these problems can be separately handled or are they intertwined.

5. If the problems are intertwined then they possibly have another root cause. Now that may be your problem.

6. Keep on listing an refining, until you find that you can now see possible steps to prevent the root cause of the problem

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Beyond the Mountain

Image

 

I sail the black seas…

I ride the burning road…

I fly the clouded winds…

I shout the shrillest cry…

 

A faint smile betrays the steely grin…

A tear drop cracks through the dusty cheek …

A gleam in the eyes set steady on the distant path…

A flutter in the hair, dark brown, grey and white …

 

The enemy hides behind the mist…

The courage uncertain of the impending fist…

The allies are but me and myself…

The victory to the alliance, defeat but to me…

 

If I fall they will say it was eminent…

I should have headed their call…

If I rise they will hum my tune…

I may make it to their stories too…

 

But all this will be all after the day…

When I set to slay the enemy of me…

How I fought will all that be of me…

Victory or defeat, I won’t be me…

 

~ bhatu (Pd)

Nothing is Good…

Nothing is Good or Bad

Speak to me

Dark it is, with no traces of life,

As if in a bottomless pit, in the deepest ocean.

Is it a just a slumber, no feeling no pain,

Don’t know where, but still believe it lives.

Don’t give up hope, there is always the rain,

but hope is to be had to know what it is.

Just a word, incomplete it may be,

Or a nudge, whilst I sleep.

My dear soul speak to me,

Enough of outside now you I seek.

Write, it is!!

After a long time I have this strong urge to write. Yes , write. I mean not to write about a topic, discussion, issue, not to contemplate or state facts, not to provoke thinking or communicate. I mean, I want to write. I want to put pen on paper. My fingers have this strong urge to hold a pen. To not let go and to keep on spewing the ink. To make page after page, blue! So I begin to write and my hand feels odd. I mean seriously odd. Just after a few lines my hand is uneasy. There is a twitch in my wrist. My little finger is hurting. It has not been subject to this pressure for a long time. I also notice that I am so slow to start with. I do not understand the reason. Ohh, my hand has lost connect with how the alphabets look. Seriously, isn’t writing about our hand and fingers instinctively knowing the curves, dots and lines.. Its like they have forgotten. Much like an old man having returned to his native place. The same feeling. I know this road, but I don’t know the directions. Soon he recollects. So does my hand. I pick up speed. And feel good. But my handwriting has suffered. I begin with steady strokes, I know that I can still write beautifully, those cursive alphabets will flow. But as I pick some writing speed, it is more of some gibberish looking on paper. I miss the uniformity in the letters. They are not well spaced, too. I have started to deform the last few alphabets in long words. Also the strokes are missing their edges. But I am loving each character that I type, that I write. I so am loving it. This is the most beautiful and satisfying activity I have done in years. Yes I like this pen and paper thing. This is me. I see the transparent refill empty a bit. The slight depression in the ink level. Off to the stationary store. I need more refills. So much to say, so much to Write!!!

P.S. : The original transcript on pen and paper is below. I have written it as in the original, without para breaks and indentations. And I have corrected two spell errors using the ‘technology’ – spell checker in the blog. 😛

20130513_Write, it is_1

20130513_Write, it is_2

20130513_Write, it is_3

Never has been a time less opportune than this to start writing. Its 10 days to my exams and I hardly know any subjects. Nevertheless I just read that “Never can there be a right time to do things. If there is, then it is now“. So here I go. Starting off with a small narration of the college feel and a few things here and there.

The mood in NITIE has been upbeat for past few days. Two major trophies, YES bank transformation series and HUL LIME case study, have been added to the NITIE showcase, all credit to the well deserving teams who put up a strong case against tough competition from top B-Schools in the country. Hope to see these events translate into reinforcing brand NITIE in the industry and on the college front translate into more participation and prises.

The mood in Room 218, well this is my room in hostel 5, has never had a strong correlation with the happenings outside, though we do get inspired often to follow in such luminous footsteps and get disinterested faster seeing that either the shoe size does not match or the direction the steps are heading does not head towards the destination in our mind. But 218  knows that the path to be taken by each person is unique and ours is going to be what we want. Coming to the point what we want or what we are headed for is a matter to be put in ink later.

Theres a lot to say but this is enough for the first one. Adios for now …